These films may not be bad once released and some of them may be real Blockbusters, but for now I’ve seen these clips once and that’s already enough of my life wasted.

5. The Boy

A huge and disappointing nod to the “master of suspense” Alfred Hitchcock. Almost immediately after the trailer begins the camera pans into a woman standing in a rounded window similar to the one Norma Bates would be seen at. Next, protagonsit Greta (Lauren Cohan) is seen taking a shower, similar to the one Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) was notoriously killed in. I have no doubt that, like the majority of popular horror movies these days, this one will flop. It will fail due to a lack of originality.

4. Finding Dory

Predictable, boring, and old. Comedian Ellen DeGeneres sounds unsure and tired throughout the entire trailer, even some lines that were funny became dull due to a lack of passion from Ellen. Also the trailer was outrageously predictable and kind of face wrenching when protagonist Dory tries to remember a thought.

3. Warcraft

Just down right stupid on so many levels. I doubt anybody but gamers and fanboys of the franchise will spend their dough on this flick. The overuse of CGI in this trailer is to the point where it could make Donkey Kong resemble a documentary. Even worse than the CGI is the story. Are the orcs fighting the humans? Are the orcs fighting the orcs? Who is fighting for Middle-earth?

2. London Has Fallen

Because there is nothing more American than London. The premise is about when the president of the United States visits London for a world conference and terrorists start stirring things up. Like usual in these dumb world police movies the United States is under attack and it’ll up to some lone ranger to save the world, or London, or America, or whoever is really under attack. Really dumb helicopter crash scene too. Just so dumb.

1. Gods of Egypt

Holy Cow does this look awful, and a bit racist, actually it seems really racist. All the major actors in the trailer are white or just barely tanned or dirty. For a movie based in Egypt I would hope for a cast of Egyptians maybe, but that’d probably be too much, those Egyptians always asking for more (not).

The plot seems to be all over the place like a bad seed of so many already bad movies. Like, if 300 and Transformers had a kid and then Clash of the Titans and Troy had a kid, and say those two kids got together and had another kid. That newest kid would be so much more entertaining than this piece of shit I just watched.

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About Author

Hello, I'm a San Clemente native and an avid traveller. My travels have taken me from living in England all the way to visiting Morocco, China, peru, and dozens of other fantastic countries across our diverse globe. Experiencing other parts of the world has opened my eyes to different ways of living and my mouth to strange, exotic, yet delicious flavors.

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